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When Matthew McConaughey was blackmailed into having sex, he remembered his father’s advice

If psychoanalysts have their say, they will certainly disagree with many of the upbringing methods of Matthew McConaughey’s childhood, but no one can deny that despite the violence, divorces and insults, the actor’s parents turned him into a gentleman.

To respect the dignity of the woman next to him, to be attentive to the signals before being intimate with someone, and in general – the important discussions that set the stage for healthy sexual relationships. McConaughey received much of this guidance from his late father.

“We sat down and had the talk about the birds and the bees. My dad asked me if I had kissed yet, I said ‘Yes sir’ and he continued. ‘One day you’ll go further, you’ll want to have sex, there will be breasts, you’ll want to take off your belt. But if you feel that the girl, the woman is wavering, you better stop,” McConaughey relayed his father’s words.

That advice came in handy a few years later, when he was 15 and his then-girlfriend gave him an ultimatum – either have sex or break up.

Then, as now, the actor accepts the condition as blackmail, which cannot be part of a normal relationship between two people, especially if those two people plan to lose their virginity.

“I’m not ashamed that my first sexual experience was blackmail, but I refused to let it defeat me. I told myself that it wouldn’t defeat my good upbringing and my sense of trust in people. I knew I could have a healthy relationship,” the Oscar winner told The Conversation: About The Men podcast.

And while there are other not so pleasant memories related to sex, the “Dallas Buyers Club” star has really managed to build solid relationships with women – whether they are his romantic partners or very close friends.

To get there, however, McConaughey had to overcome another trauma related to intimacy – when he was 18, he passed out, several men put him in the trunk of a pickup truck, and the next thing he remembers is one of them groping him.

The actor returns to the incident in his autobiographical book “Green Lights”, but there too he refuses to reveal the name of the man who crossed the lines because he does not want to feel like a victim.

McConaughey is certainly not the kind of celebrity who will willingly put herself in a vulnerable position just to be pitied. Even the opposite – when he talks about the violence and the ultimatum that go hand in hand in his personal sexual history, he is convinced that these are only small details, “part of the world’s conspiracy to make him happy”, as he writes in his book.

And when it comes to family happiness, McConaughey is one of the best Hollywood examples because he has been together with his wife Camila Alves for 16 years.

In his memoir, the actor says that he and his partner met in 2006 at a nightclub on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles. Then he was 36 years old and already on the wave of settling down with a serious girlfriend and starting a family.

Of her first meeting with Alves, McConaughey wrote that it was love at first sight. There was no way to miss the beautiful 180 cm Brazilian, who towers over the rest of her friends with her height.


Photo: Getty Images

The star and his close friend professional cyclist Lance Armstrong, who was then acting as his back-up, immediately approached the group and McConaughey tried to speak to the Brazilian in Portuguese. A few years earlier, he had sailed the Amazon, inspired by a dream, and believed his language skills were passable enough to impress the beautiful model. Turns out he’s wrong.

But while the flirtation doesn’t go according to his plans, the chemistry between Camila Alves and Matthew McConaughey is obvious. At the end of the evening, the actor invites Alves to spend the night in his guest room, as it is too late for her to go home alone.

And after several attempts to settle in the same room and in the same bed, he remembers his father’s advice to behave like a gentleman and stops pressing the model.

“I was taught by my parents to respect women, to respect my relationship with them and to respect sexual intimacy. Thanks to them, I have had healthy sexual relationships with girls who like me and who I like. We slowly became intimate, but it was beautiful and awkward. Just the way sex between two near-strangers should be,” McConaughey tells the podcast.

Although the family in which he grew up cannot be called an emblem of a healthy relationship, the actor is adamant that conversations with his father and mother laid the foundation for his strong principles. Nevermind that his parents’ actions were the picture of a couple in urgent need of therapy.

In one of the most vivid scandals that the actor remembers, his mother chased his father around the kitchen with a knife and broke his fingers in the struggle.

“My father and mother divorced twice and married three times. Each time for each other. If they had not convinced me that love wins in the end, I would probably have three divorces behind me now. I think of those moments of violence from their history, and I’m like, this must have been a test. It could have broken them, but instead it gave them a chance to come together even more,” the actor reflects.

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