Or what are the other sure signs that your partner is cheating
Traces of lipstick on the collar of the shirt, the smell of women’s perfume and a complete change of wardrobe – these are the trivial signs that the husband probably has a mistress. Men also know this, usually if they let any of these things happen to them, they are either very much in love or they just want to expose their infidelity.
However, when they want to keep their family together, things seem far more complicated. They are very combinative in finding time to meet with the second woman. They cleverly cover their tracks and always deny if they are somehow caught in the act. Therefore, it is very difficult to expose them, even if there are a number of suspicious manifestations.
A long-time cheating wife told women’s site Mamamia that she had to hire a private investigator to put an end to her husband’s long-standing lies. “I have asked him hundreds of times if he has a lover. Even our marriage counselor asked him if he was sure he wasn’t in another romantic relationship. His answer was always: “No, I’m not having an affair. I don’t have time for such things.” Even at the very end of our relationship, he told me: “Of course you will make up my love affair because you can’t believe that I just don’t want you anymore,” wrote the cheated wife.
One of the things that makes her doubt her husband of 15 years the most is that he has stopped snoring. When she notes this joyful change in the family bedroom, the husband surprisingly says, “Oh, I had laser throat surgery.” For her, this is already a sure sign that she has a lover. “She snore on my head for years, especially after drinking alcohol, and spent thousands of dollars, without even discussing it, to improve her sleep, not mine,” the woman said.
The first change in his behavior was that he started going to the gym very regularly. Presents it as a concern for his health. However, when he frantically starts throwing away his old underwear and buying new ones, doubt sets in. “Not only his change, but also clothes, shoes, any big change in appearance can be a red flag for infidelity,” explains the wife.
According to her, the other important thing that should be monitored in case of mistrust is how the partner treats his phone. If he suddenly starts carrying it in his pocket all the time, often changes his passwords to access it, turns off its function of beeping when receiving a message or tracking recent online communications, it means that he is concealing some correspondence. “I heard his phone vibrate at night, but when I checked who was messaging him on WhatsApp, the screen was blank. For two weeks he lied that he didn’t change the settings. He accused me of making things up, until I myself left him a message and nothing appeared on the screen of his phone”, reveals the deceived woman. Another change coming is that he stops answering calls while on a business trip. His business trips are becoming more frequent, as are his late stays at the office. When you ask him about something specific from these commitments, he hardly manages to tell an incident or a story.
However, the surest sign is that he suddenly stops having sex with his wife, even entering into physical intimacy. “When he stops showing interest in your life together or doesn’t share anything about his, you suddenly start to feel like a third wheel in your own relationship. You can’t find out who interfered with her, but you sense that there is one. You no longer feel your husband as your person,” explains the woman. Therefore, she decides to write on the site what she thinks are the sure signs that her partner is cheating.
Her publication provoked stormy comments on social networks and the sharing of dozens of stories of infidelity. A woman abandoned after 41 years of marriage reveals that her husband left her after having an online affair with a childhood sweetheart. He just came and told me he wanted a divorce to go to her in the Netherlands, she said. After so many years together and four children, at no point did she allow that his long hours on Facebook could be due to love tremors. She thought he was doing it out of boredom.
Another reveals that she didn’t spend money on private investigators at all when she began to have doubts, but simply bought a cheap tracking device. She put him in her husband’s car and collected the necessary evidence to show him that she was aware of his crush.
“Cheating can destroy your self-esteem and make you feel betrayed, hurt, and even doubt your own abilities. Trust is the foundation of any good relationship. If it is broken, it can be very difficult to fix. So if you suspect your partner is cheating on you, it’s important to be on the lookout for some of the warning signs or red flags,” says psychotherapist Chandni Tughneet. According to her, it is good to pay attention to both his behavior and how you feel. Talk about it, even if he denies it and plays the role of offended by your suspicions. You may indeed be wrong. He may have decided to surprise you with an anti-snoring operation, or as he gets older, he realizes that he should treat his body more responsibly and therefore train harder, not because he has a new intimate thrill.
But you won’t know that if you don’t speak up. Any silence about arising doubts accumulates tension in family relations. You should not feel uncomfortable if you feel a cold or distant attitude. If you can’t figure out why this is happening, it’s very likely that your partner is getting their emotional needs met elsewhere. As some men have commented under the cheating wife’s post, the role of victim may seem attractive, but in reality it hardly makes those who play it very happy.
Studies have shown that cheaters most often cite falling out of love, seeking variety, or feeling neglected. 44 percent of men say it’s just about sex, while only 11 percent of women think the same, which also explains why women are more likely to perceive their partner’s crush as betrayal and find it difficult to forgive.
The unfaithful woman spends more and looks tired
Although the popular belief is that men are more prone to infidelity, recent studies show gender equality in this matter. They differ only in the reasons for which they do it. The ladies most often say they had an affair because they didn’t get enough attention from their main partner, they wanted to get back at him, or they were drunk when they seduced them. For men, seduction comes first, followed by relationship exhaustion and sexual dissatisfaction.
Women are far more covert, but can still be caught by some signs. For example, they begin to spend a lot more money not only on improving their appearance, as cheating men do, but on dates with girlfriends and parties, as they feel the need to share their excitement about the new emotional thrill. On the other hand, at home they are irritable, see their husband as a ghost and avoid any attempt at sexual contact. They criticize his shortcomings, stop going to family events and are jealous of him. They appear more lazy and tired as they are mentally burdened by the betrayal they committed towards the main partner. They act like they are guilty. Although they think they have nothing to apologize for, they cook the husband’s favorite meal, give him surprise gifts, but generally keep him at a distance. In parallel, they insist on more personal space, girls’ nights out and trips. If the solution to her happiness is to get away from you, your wife is probably cheating or is ready to cheat, psychotherapists warn.