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Next to these tourists, the Bulgarian simpleton abroad pales

“Is there a toilet in the cathedral?”, “Petreee, come take a picture of me with the Mona Lisa”, “Emmaaa, get out of the water, you’re going to catch a cold”…

Bulgarian tourists, who bring plates with the tip of the all-inclusive, kilos of tomatoes from their homeland for the holiday in Greece, pour like flies on honey at every mall they see outside the country’s borders, push each other, get lost, be late, interfere with your own selfies and shouting at their children on the beach so that it can be heard all the way to the “Tower”, they are not very pleasant company.

And they do not give rise to a sense of national pride.

But if you think we are the biggest simpletons in the world – don’t be. There are far more unpleasant tourists than the Bulgarian ones.

The term “Bulgarian tourist” cannot be taken as a catch-all for absolutely all Bulgarians who trample the Spanish Steps in Rome, climb the Eiffel Tower or lie on the beaches of the first arm of Halkidiki. Bulgarians are different – from classic selanduri to classic Europeans, and a collective image would be the subject of scientific work in the field of folk psychology and social anthropology.

The same applies to other nationalities, but one cannot help but notice certain distinctive characteristics in the behavior of representatives of other nations, especially when they are in a group, in a purely personal capacity while hanging around the world.

It is likely that Bulgarians annoy us abroad because they also annoy us at home, and the fact that we understand absolutely everything they say contributes significantly to the instinctive desire to distinguish ourselves from them.

But against the background of some other groups, our compatriots are kind, pleasant and well-behaved cosmopolitans.

Chinese people

Undoubtedly, the group most hated by the rest of the tourists. If you have traveled in the last 2 years in Europe, you cannot have failed to notice their refreshing absence and the essential lack of irritants at the main tourist sites.

The Chinese are almost always in large and sluggish groups. When they show up at a certain site, they literally take it over and you either have to get out of there, or wait meekly on the sidelines, or forget all manners and etiquette and start pushing yourself along with them.

Those who travel outside of China, and especially far from their homeland, are usually well-off as well. They love shopping, especially luxury and branded goods. They’ll pile into the back entrance of Galeries Lafayette in Paris, rummage through it, and walk out a few hours later with 10 Louis Vuitton bags each. They will then line up at the VAT refund desk at the airport and anyone unfortunate enough to come after them risks missing their flight.

Why? Because they can be terribly slow. Bargaining, discussing, they must have misunderstood something, taking selfies and talking in a high, sharp tone non-stop.

In addition to being numerous, the Chinese are also extremely rude – by Western standards. Their sense of personal space is also quite far from the European one. So for example, if you happen to be sitting in the only square meter of shade in a sunny square, all the available Chinese in the square will soon crowd in there, pressing you tight. Before that, half will pass through your legs, literally.

It is normal for them to push and shove, not to wait for you to pass the door and not to avoid physical contact. If you are having breakfast in a hotel with Chinese people, you will quickly realize that if you want to eat, you have to do as they do – elbow and push your way to the food tables. If you try to stand in line or wait for the human wall to open – you have no chance even for a coffee.

Also, there are always at least a few image-obsessed Chinese women on Weibo who can make life miserable for the rest of us. They take 16 selfies every 30 cm. In addition to having to wait for them to take a picture and move away from the object, their companions also wait for them, because they are usually late, overwhelmed by their image.

Americans

The naive and good-natured elephant in the glass shop. The American tourist most often has the need to ask a question whose answer is obvious to everyone else. He constantly needs to clarify something and is the loudest fan with cheerful enthusiasm about absolutely everything.

Noisy is key. One can easily decide that X-town is full of American tourists only, because their wooden English is booming everywhere. In fact, they may even be a minority – they just talk a lot and loudly.

Often – for money, and if they are in an expensive place like Norway, it becomes the main topic of conversation with whoever they meet, especially the Norwegians from whom they buy souvenirs or who take them on a tour somewhere.

As much as we don’t want to give qualifications, one cannot help but notice that Americans are the ones who most often tend to get into stupid situations.

To ask after a lecture how cheese is made in a Swiss dairy and why it is not as yellow as in America; to talk to you with a friendly broad smile, starting with where you are from, and when they hear “Bulgaria”, get confused because they have no idea what and where it is; or they interrupt you while you are taking pictures or talking on the phone to ask where the toilet is.

Or bomb the video you’re making with your favorite WOOOW.

Russians

Generalization is difficult here, but there is one characteristic type that may not always be dominant, but when it appears, it stands out brightly among all the others.

These are mostly Russian women, classic representatives of novie russkie, who have gone too far with cosmetic procedures – empty-headed, stupid, impudent and with a self-confidence that can only be born from money you did not work for. They display kitschy opulence and huge pretensions, have their men take pictures of them all over the place in provocative poses in their navel-lipped dresses, and although they’ve been touring Europe for many years, they don’t speak a word of English.

Their men are the respective bats who look bad and are always on the alert, ready to protect the property from any kind of encroachment.

Their mothers are also not to be neglected – classic aunts who evoke associations with magpies, because they pour mostly on shiny – first of all – gold.

And everyone loves to buy fur coats and hats when they go to a resort in Greece in the summer.

Britons

When on their own and in classic tourer form, they are wonderful companions able to showcase the best of British traits. However, everything changes when they are at a resort in the southern parts of Europe with their children.

What they do in Sunny Beach, they do everywhere else, as long as they are allowed. Their drunkenness is unpleasant, noisy and endless. If you see a girl asleep in her own vomit in front of the disco, chances are she’s from the Island.

Even when they are sober – or at least not yet very drunk – the British are still noisy, which is often due to their many and not particularly well-behaved – from our point of view – children.

If for the Bulgarian mother the number one priority is that the child does not catch a cold and what people will say, the British mother does not care at all about either of them.

She, like the father, is a full curtain and tries to take care of her life and rest. 2-3 children who are naked, dirty, roll on the ground, eat sand or from the neighbor’s plates, jump on the reception desk or sleep under the table, they cannot touch it.

Spaniards

Like most southerners, Spaniards like to spend their vacations in their own homeland, and in general meet an idea less often abroad. But if they are in a group, it is understood who they are and where they are from quickly and without fail.

They, like the Italians, do not stop talking in a loud voice to the extent that one wonders what they still have to say after 3 hours of non-stop talk.

They blow your head up in no time, and once more than three people get together, they form a mob. They hate queues – they try to go in together and through every door at once, nothing ever works. They are scattered, chaotic, raise a terrible olelia, hang out and wander, and their children dart around like spring balls and sooner or later hit you at high speed.

And when the surrounding landscape is dominated by all these groups, one cannot help but appreciate not only the quiet, boring and organized Germans, but even one’s own countrymen.

Who, at least out of godfather shame, try to behave decently and sometimes even succeed.

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