Drugs have become more than friends to me

They insulted me in the streets and jumped on me

10 years ago, when Zhanna Bergendorf stepped on top of music, her voice swept like a hurricane and gathered the love of millions in Bulgaria. But that decade of big singing, partying, drugs, violence and arrest turned her career into a rollercoaster.

Even her spectacular voice and success could not hide that she lived through the fiery hell of drugs and violence. And from being loved, she became hated. Then Jeanne retired from music for two years. Not by her will.

“It was all too much for me to do with the fame, with the attacks. It made me feel lonely and I wanted to punish myself. I don’t think the artist punished me. Rather, I think that I myself, as a person, tried to punish the artist Zhanna”, she shared with Nova.

“People don’t know how much it hurts to be in my shoes. And to be in the shoes of every other artist who has been attacked and condemned in this way. Besides the pain, perhaps, I have learned many things. Because then you realize what you should not be for others”, says Zhanna.

Many people, she explained, were interested in making her the “bad girl”. “Being a rebel in our circles is not well received. You are a product and it must work according to a mechanism. I don’t live like that. When you step out of the frame, you are no longer welcome,” she is emphatic.

“Drugs have become more than friends for me. I was finding a vent. When I was forbidden to sing, my soul screamed. I was banned because I had to. Because that was the deal. And because people like to hurt,” she revealed.

“Drugs didn’t replace anything. They only destroyed. I couldn’t understand it at the time. I will not allow such nasty emotional events to happen to me again. During that time, I realized that you don’t have the right to kill yourself because of other people’s mistakes,” explains the singer.

The worst thing about her was that she was ignored, that she was not allowed to sing. “To be insulted in the streets, to be attacked. I’ve had moments like that. This is taken destructively. The worst thing is that you yourself don’t know what to do because you are alone,” she said.


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