A day of “stand-in” Prince Harry

#Prince Harry woke up on Saturday morning with the sticky feeling that he was even more of a victim than before. Leaving the servants to make the enormous bed, she slowly made her way to the ballroom-sized kitchen, where Megan had ordered fresh, low-carbon vegan delicacies to be delivered.

Harry started his day with decaf coffee, gluten-free croissants and a digital detox. Three minutes I stand without checking reactions to his last nine television appearances. He had made it clear that he didn’t want any interference in his family life, and so he walked through half the evening shows in America. He kept the other half for next week.

Driven by his desire for privacy and privacy, the Duke of Sussex has confirmed 14 more appearances on morning, midday and afternoon shows, four major magazine interviews and two photo shoots with Meghan. In fact, the photo shoot turned out to be one because Meghan ended up telling him she preferred to be alone for the second one.

You had a concept that Harry thought was genius.

His wife gave him some more family showbiz news before heading off to another meeting at the headquarters of a leading streaming platform. Hollywood producers have expressed their desire to screen his autobiographical book “Reserve”. Megan told him that she would play herself because she was an actress anyway, but an actor would be cast for him. It fluctuates between Timothée Chalamet, Michael Fassbender and The Rock. Makeup and special effects artists would bring out the physical resemblance, she told him.

She also told him that she couldn’t wait to film the sex scenes that he describes in detail in his book. Not exactly him, but his “ghost writer” (ghost writer), but that doesn’t really matter.

Meghan is indeed enthusiastic about recreating the sex scenes with Harry, but this time with Chalamet or The Rock, depending on the duchess’s mood and desire for contrast. And maybe with both, if it is decided that the film will have an avant-garde and experimental character, and will compete for the Palme d’Or in Cannes, for example. The prince replied that it was a brilliant idea, but blamed himself for not including even more juicy bedroom moments so that his wife could really give herself in the screenplay and prove that the top US actresses are overrated amateurs compared to her .

Harry was confident that the film based on his book “Spare” could become a romantic blockbuster with elements of a historical black comedy. He also thought about the sequel – “Reserve II: Windsor Strikes Back”. Naturally, in this situation, there must be a trilogy. The third part could be titled “Spare III: Harry is not Potter, but Buckingham Palace will become Hogwarts” and aimed at family audiences and fantasy fans.

Of course, this is where the need for a “prequel” and “origin story” arose.

Harry instinctively went to look for Harvey’s (Weinstein) number, but remembered he was in jail and decided he would ask Markle who would be the perfect producer for such a saga.

Photo: Getty Images

After breakfast and confirmation of the new media appearances, the driver took Harry to the private jet that would take him to a world climate meeting, where the prince would speak about reducing harmful emissions and advise the common people to use more bicycles and public transport.

The climactic meeting went great, he took a selfie with Jeff Bezos’ new boyfriend, promised himself that he and Meghan would be guests on his new mega yacht this summer, and arranged another exclusive appearance on 60 Minutes. There he would, for only the eighth time in five days, exclusively accuse the Royal Family of showing unconscious racism towards his wife and always treating him as a potential organ donor for the Crown Prince and his older brother William.

In the evening, Prince Harry again tried to remember all the times Will had disrespected him. Somewhere in there, his fantasy intervened and he was ready with another exclusive and explosive story of brotherly violence with royal colors.

As he was served a five-course menu by his favorite chef with several Michelin-starred restaurants, Prince Harry reflected again on what a victim he was. It was good that Meghan rescued him from his evil royal family, responsible for so much colonial and imperialist oppression all over the world. It was now in safe Hollywood hands. With a book, a documentary series, five media appearances a day and still an iron will to keep his private life a secret. Harry saw no contradiction in the way he decided to attack his relatives on the media while explaining how he suffered from the invasion of his personal space.

Photo: Getty Images

Megan called him and told him that she had finally chosen The Rock to play him in the adaptation of Spare.

Now she was debating whether to have the Rock “fit in” or Harry to “pump up” and pretend the prince had always been a 195cm Samoan alpha male and ex-wrestler with huge muscles. Markle settled on the second option and ordered Harry to begin his transformation.

He thanked his wife for the priceless command, sorry advice. If he becomes a muscular machine like the Rock, he will no longer be definitively associated with the Royal Family and their history of “colossal colonial imperialist racism”. But he would relate to them, of course, pouring out daily confessions of the terror he experienced in the palaces. Prince Harry had a new mission. Not like the one in Afghanistan, but still going to war of a sort.

This time for the hearts of the people.

Photo: Getty Images

But before that, he had to give another exclusive interview in which he would protect his personal space by telling embarrassing intimate details of his life to the “reserve” prince. On American airwaves, he was already a starter. And he wasn’t going to let anyone change him. Unless Meghan decided otherwise, of course. Harry fell asleep with that good thought in his head and ordered the servants to wake him up for the morning’s engagement. He had so many dirty secrets to reveal to keep his purity. Harry drifted off to sleep without thinking about the hater headlines in the Sun newspaper.

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